Everyone is hyper diligent about protecting their family and their children. So when it comes to the Coronavirus, what can a parent do?
For an intact family where both parents live in the same home, your job is to make sure you have “quality time” while still social distancing.
But what about parents that do not live together, whether it because of a divorce or they were never married and/or have never lived together?
The most asked question is, “should I permit my child to go with the other parent.”
As an attorney, I will not and cannot advise you to disobey a court order. The Probate & Family Court has specifically made an order that states that court-ordered parenting time is not “stayed.” This means you MUST follow the court orders.
Each parent needs to look out for their child. At this time, that means that each needs to learn how to compromise more and be more flexible given the situation.
Many single parents have vast differences of opinion on how to do things. The most important thing is communication.
The best solution in this situation is to meditate and settle issues rather than dig your heels in and make matters worse once the court reopens.
Some examples to consider when one parent is in health care. While they are doing their best to protect and care for the general population they are, in the process, exposing themselves to patients who have Coronavirus, or if a parent works at a manufacturing plant that their employment is not taking the precaution of social distancing, or a parent who has determined this is all ‘hype’ and goes out to game night or a birthday a party.
Sometimes the decision is easy. For example, if a child were to travel (by plane or train) for Spring break to see their other parent, I would hope that both parents could agree its not safe and to try and schedule a make-up time when the pandemic is over.
However, when parents are just a mile away, or even walking distance now what? Parents could consider larger blocks of time (perhaps a week) with their children rather than a back and forth every other day, assuming both parents are home and have been self-isolating.
Other alternatives are to offer Skype, Facetime, Zoom or other video conferencing programs to the isolated parent who is missing his/her parenting time. Do these frequently and for a longer duration than a quick check-in. This allows for some quality time with their children. Depending on your Internet speed and the time you have booked together, do projects together, such as crafts, baking, games, etc.
Remember that when the pandemic is over, the parent who has not been able to touch their child due to the distance should enjoy some quality make up in-person time.
The goal is for each parent to be creative, reasonable, and flexible and understand that their child is not their possession but a gift to both parents.
If you want to be a parent who says, “I am the custodial parent and I will not allow contact or parenting time,” then once the court opens, the court will hear your position and might not look favorably on your actions. It is a violation of the law. Plus, if you were close to a settlement before the pandemic chances are, all negotiations have been terminated as the other parent thought you were unreasonable. Your action today and your conduct today has consequences for you, the other parent, and the child that can last a lifetime.
If you are a client of mine and need to work out a schedule with the other parent, we are here to negotiate with their counsel or schedule a 3-way zoom meeting. If you are not a client, and each parent is willing to mediate an agreement, we can book a zoom meeting to mediate your issues.
Please reach out to us at Reeves Lavallee PC at 508-425-6945 to book an appointment.